The sky was an obscene shade of blue, only it wasn’t blue, but rather took on the appearance of oil spilled into the atmosphere. It had been a long time since the sky had been pure. She had seen pictures of the innocent blue that had once blanketed the earth and the sun still shown on a regular basis. These pictures were from when her grandparents had been children and could still play in soft green grass and swim in the teal colored water of the Atlantic. But that was long ago, and She had only known the iridescent glow as it casts its colors over the world. Now it had all been transformed: the sky, the earth, and the water.

The war had been expected. Doom had wrapped itself around the people of this earth.

The feelings of hatred and uncertainty between nations and individuals overwhelmed mankind. Most braced themselves for the worst. Faith had been lost; God couldn’t stop the inevitable.

The bombs dropped. No one believed that the human race could survive nuclear war, most just prepared for everlasting death, for the end. Humanity would have been better off that way. However, it was people like her great-grandparents who refused to lie down and die, an act of stupid courage. Fancy bomb-shelters, built out of numerous layers of concrete and high grade steel, saved them from the blasts of fire and extreme chemical exposure. But it hadn’t saved them from future mutations and painful diseases. Sabrie had been lucky, born with a single, partially useless eye and the inability to grow any sort of body hair.

Walking into the H-Bomb bar, she noticed that the streets were particularly busy today. Looking towards the corner, she saw Phil the local "pharmacist". He wore a black t-shirt with skin-tight stone washed jeans. His 666 medallion, ironically symbolic of an underground pharmacist, hung around his neck. Hesitating, she continued inside. "He’ll be there when I come back, hopefully," she said comforting herself. Her morning hit was still going strong, but she would surely need another one soon.

Faces of all kinds stared as she entered and made her way to the bar. Many of them, she didn’t recognize; their faces morbid with dissatisfaction, pain, a longing for relief. She feels no pity; they were no different than her. She was sure that they all had the same thought: the idea of falling asleep one night and never again waking up. Escaping to a world that was more than gloom and pain. Somewhere where the sun rose in the mornings, the grass grew long and green, and flowers still blossomed.

"Sabrie?" The voice awoke her from her daydreams as she focused on the man behind the bar. He was the only person that she knew who was able to hide his mutations. For the most part he looked…normal (whatever that was). His thick black curls majestically framed his brown eyes that looked as though they were constantly peeking into her soul.

"Oh Christ," she mumbled under her breath. She had had a lot of history with Micah. Still being unsure of her feelings for him made it hard to see him, but boy, hadn’t had a good fuck since the last time they were together a month ago. Maybe this would turn out all right after all.

"Hey Micah, haven’t seen you in a while. I hoped you might be dead by now." She turned towards the sea of faces behind her as the nausea hit her. Reaching out for the bar, she sat slowly down on one of the tattered stools that surrounded her.

"You’re a real sweetheart Sabrie. I told you that I would call, give me some credit." Micah reached for two empty glasses and threw them into the sink, the clang of their union crashing into pieces against the metal, "shhhhit".

"Uh, I gave you the benefit of the doubt for two weeks after we were together. I don’t know what I expect from you, you’re just a horney fuck who throws his "I love you’s" around like its Goddamn candy." White-hot flashed through her abdomen as the pain intensified. She hadn’t really been mad at him, after all she had been using him for the same satisfaction. Her stomach was causing her anger and he just happened to be the closest target.

"Listen, Sabe… I know you’re just giving me shit, just back off, k? What’s up with you anyway…" chuckling to himself "…a little premenstrual?"

"Actually no. If you want to know the truth, I haven’t been for two months. I’ll give you one guess why," she hadn’t planned on telling him. Dealing with it on her own would’ve been much easier, but his mocking and her pain had forced the news out. "So, that’s really funny, isn’t it asshole?" A mix of regret and satisfaction clenched her torso as she watched his face fall, his strawberry lips in a state of shock.

"Shut the fuck up! Man, Sabrie, you just don’t know when to quit, do you?"

"I know that you’d like to think that you’re perfect Micah, but unfortunately you fucked up this time, sorry…" Her eyes glistened with sarcasm, her buzz fading quickly. Rubbing her stomach, she sighed, "shit".

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What Sabrie? Damn I am getting sick of you’re games, just tell me. What?!?"

"My shit is wearing off. I was hoping that it would keep me flying until tonight. You just can’t find quality smoke anymore. Phil is a useless fuck."

"Jeez Sabe, the last thing you need is to bring a kid into this world. Do you know how fucked up it would be with you shootin’ yourself up with that shit all the time? I mean look at you. You’re a Goddamn mess, and your mother didn’t even shoot that crap directly into you."

"Fuck you!"

"You know what? You just need to calm down. What the hell has happened to you? You used to be a semi-fun girl, just take a look at yourself in the mirror sometime. You’re bitter half the time and messed up the other half."

"That’s where you’re wrong my dear Micah, I’m messed up all of the time," she grinned hoping to get past this argument and to the make-up fuck afterwards.

"Just try to take it easy, babe. You don’t need anymore to handle. What are you going to do with that thing?" he said while gesturing to her exposed belly below her t-shirt.

"Who knows, let’s just forget about it for now. I’m tired of thinking. Just makes my head hurt". She pulled her fingers across the smooth skin of her skull. "When are you off tonight?"

"Whenever. Jimmy’s around back, I just have to go get him"

She leaned over the counter, a broad smile covering her bare face as she slipped her hands into his dusty denim jeans, slowly massaging his mutation. "Well, why don’t you go do that."

He backed away from her slowly, his eyes twinkling with lust and excitement. The nausea clenched her again forcing her back into her seat. Her relationship with Micah was one of the most uncertain aspects of her life. She knew that she didn’t love him, she didn’t even know if she really liked him. But for some reason, the sight of him thrilled her, setting her body into motion and yearning.

Turning back towards the bar, she noticed a couple in the corner, staring blankly at one another, their expressions undecipherable…lost. Remembering a photo of her great-grandparents, she felt sad. The love that they had for one another was so profound: the silent glance that they shared, the soft grace of their hands together, and the subtle smiles that appeared so naturally. She never saw these things today. Love had become extinct. Its residue left only in memories.

"Let’s go, I’m ready," startling her once again, he walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. Guiding her, they walked wordlessly out of the bar, into the world, into hell.

The one-room apartment was musty and cold. She felt her nipples harden as she walked through the door. Quickly he moved towards the couch throwing random garbage off of the stained brown cushions and onto the dust covered floor. Taking off his shirt, he sat down and patted the cushion next to him.

"Jesus, can’t you even try to clean up this place once in a while?" she said with arms wrapped around her torso. "At least put up a blanket in the window to keep some heat in… you’re living like fucking sewer trash". A large cockroach scurried across the floor in front of her. Gasping, she took a step back towards the worn front door. The cockroaches were about the only insect that had survived the war and would probably take over the world someday.

"You know, you’ve lived with those things around all of your life… you should be used to them by now. Just think of them as pets!" He smiled at her slyly hoping to convince her to join him on the couch.

Walking gracelessly over to him, she began to take off her torn blue t-shirt and old army pants. Standing naked in front of him she looked like a child. Her body, hairless and smooth, shined in the eerie glow of the afternoon. She knelt down before him on the dirty floor and leisurely began to unbutton his pants. There she saw his mutation. His dual-gendered organs stared intently at her, waiting to be relieved.

For an hour they moved, steady at first and then rough and unpredictable. Micah would push her to the floor and then force her back to the couch. She felt her knees and back become skinned bare by the splintered wood below her, but she never showed emotion. She hurt, but she never cried. He came, she didn’t. It had all become pretty robotic, for her there was no pleasure. She never understood why she desired it so greatly, but felt that it must be a part of human nature that will always exist. He fell asleep on the couch, his hands between his legs and his body in a ball. She looked at him with disgust and moved to the bookshelf that stood against the opposite wall.

There she reached for the metal shell box on the top shelf. Reaching inside she pulled out a baggy filled with gray residue. It was the residue of nuclear chemicals that had formed on many concrete objects after the bombings. Most people snorted this substance commonly known as smoke, but Sabrie relied on a quicker fix. Lighting the pilot on the stove, she cooked the substance on a metal spoon. When the smoke began to boil, she sucked it up into a syringe and stuck it into the back of her knee. It was on of the places where she still had good veins. Standing upright, she felt the wave of color hit her directly behind her eye. Hazy smoke blurred her vision as she grabbed the rest of the stash and headed out the door.

Once outside, she looked up towards the sky. The iridescence was swirling, brewing a storm; dark clouds crept over what little light was visible. Slowly moving her head from side to side, she noticed that the once crowded street had now become deserted. Alone, she walked up the street past the rubble of buildings that had never been repaired and probably never would be. Little sparks of light flashed in her vision like thunderbolts from her brain. A tiny voice cried. It was her voice.

Drops of rain fell on her bare head… each one burning. But she did not realize the pain, only the lights that flashed before her. They were bright and beautiful. They called for her to follow, creeping down the street. However, the light never got closer, but rather only seemed to drift further away. Frustration overwhelmed her; falling to her knees she pounded her fists into the cracked pavement. Blood dripped from her wounded hands as she screamed towards the unyielding sky. Her shrieks filled her head, each one piercing into her brain like a shard of glass. She wrapped her hands around her unborn child, smearing blood over her polished skin. "I want so much more! I want so much fucking MORE!!!!" At once she began to scrape at her stomach, trying to rip out what was inside, trying to free herself, trying to save it from hell. Her nails dug deep into her frail skin. Red rivers rushed towards her khaki pants. A pool of blood began to form around her knees. And then she stopped.

Looking at her stained hands she saw the skin that invaded the space below each nail. Fear took over, and she collapsed. The lights within her sight, now blood red, pulsed with each beat of her heart. Regaining her strength she crawled to a small opening between two standing walls. Shaking she took the worn baggy from her pocket and measured two lines. She felt a calm immediately as she inhaled each one deep into her body. She laid her battered body on the cool ground and felt herself begin to fly.

A white light filled the inside of her eyelid while an image of beauty swept through her mind. She could see the earth in all of its glory, running through a field of wild flowers with her silky blonde hair flowing behind her. Laughing, she fell to the ground where she rolled over and saw heaven. The blue sky above enveloped her in its exquisiteness. She stared at the white shapes that drifted effortlessly through the clean atmosphere. Reaching upwards, she tried to grab one, but only felt the coolness of the air slip through her fingers. Relaxing, she heard a giggle from behind. Sabrie turned to see a young girl with bouncy blond curls come running through the grass towards her. Her eyes the color of the sky and her mouth shaped like a tiny strawberry bud. Sabrie tried to get up and greet her daughter, but she could no longer move. The sky began to darken and she felt the burning of rain touch her delicate skin. Looking back towards the little girl, she realized that she had vanished.

Sabrie opened her eye to find that she was still between the two walls. She looked up towards the awful sky and a single tear slipped down her cheek. Laying her head back down upon the cement, she curled her body into a tight ball, closed her eyes, and faded away.

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